how to not give up on saving a life
by Darkoslim
Summary: Miranda Lawson has cancer. Her girlfriend jack, leaves her to fight it alone, but jacks best friend, skylar shepard, helps the ill girl through her cancerous battle gaining a friend and maybe something way more. femshep/Miranda completely au warning: graphic smut and explicit language also futa!femshep
1. Chapter 1: lesson 1-vengeance

**A/N: hi guys! So how to not give up on saving a life is inspired by the two songs: I wont give up by Jason mraz and how to save a life by the fray, if you haven't heard these to lovely songs I suggest you listen to them right quick to get the real feel of the story, this story will possibly relate to you a lot and help you through things you're going through, now im not gonna lie this story's pretty damn sad but it has its cute shep and miri moments and funny moments too. So maybe you'll be able to hand the heart ache. Aw who am kidding there's gonna be tons of cute shep and miri moments! But without further a due I give you how to not give up on saving a life. *drumroll***

* * *

Skylar Shepard brushed her shaggy blonde hair in the bathroom mirror, she looked herself in the eyes. They were gray with green around the pupil, because they were so beautiful they were usually mistaken for contacts and it would take a lot of convincing that they weren't. Even if she did play a great amount of sports at school Everything about Shepard's body screamed athletic and angular, from her sharp jaw line that looked as though it could cut glass to her athlete-like frame. The clothes she wore showed off her body, she usually wore tank tops, chino shorts and a pair of vans or high top converse, no matter the temperature. And she would admit it, she was one of_ those_ people.

"Skylar! Come on we'll be late!" she heard her guardian call.

"Coming auntie!" shepard dashed out the bathroom and down the stairs, she smelled no food awaiting, she supposed they were really late.

"Honestly, you're seventeen years old and you still take more than an hour to get ready." Karin chakwas chuckled as she grabbed her car keys.

shepard smiled, "Honestly auntie, you act as if you've never met my mother."

Chakawas wasn't actually shepards aunt, just her moms best friend. Shepard moved in with chakawas when she was thirteen to America from England, it was difficult for Shepard at first with leaving her mother and her home in England because her mother was financially unstable to take care of the both of them. But over time shepard got closer to the woman and saw her as more of a second mom or aunt.

"Yeah but your mom didn't usually make me late for work." Chakawas replied.

Chakawas worked at Westside high, which is also where shepard went to school. It kind of bother shepard at first with her not being able to "put the moves" on girls as Chakawas says and all but shepard found out soon enough that Chakawas could bail her out of trouble easily.

"Hey, we can't all be as perfect as me."

* * *

**Pray for Miranda. She's always in our hearts. God keep her safe.**

Shepard passed by weeping students and sympathetic, gloomy teachers.

"what's going on?" shepard whispered to herself. And more importantly what's wrong with Miranda?

Miranda Lawson. popular, smart, beautiful. Shepard had always appreciated the girl, for the simple reason that she wasn't just boobies and butt, she was more than that she actually had brains unlike all the other girls in the school. But above the surface, shepard had always teased her and poked at her for her kicks for the come backs and just to get her mad, but now that something drastic had happen to her she could help but feel a little..._terrible. _

shepard walked father along the hallway to spot Kelly chambers-her girlfriend, and oriana Lawson. Oh no, was the first thought that come to shepard. They looked terrible, in tears and hysterical bits of whimpers. shepard hurried over to the two with nothing but concern and panic in her chest and every second it got bigger with the fuel of anticipation.

"What's wrong with Miranda?" was the first thing that fell out of her mouth.

Kelly grabbed on to shepard, "m-mianda has cancer."

**_Cancer._ **It shepard like a ton of bricks. Of course her and Miranda didn't always see eye to eye with everything and all but still...cancer?

"Cancer? Where is she?" And where's jack?" shepard asked.

Jack was Miranda's girlfriend and shepards bestfriend. Jack wasn't always the greatest girlfriend, she kinda treated Miranda like trash, talking down to her, calling her a bitch, hitting her. It was a wonder why Miranda would be with her, someone so strong and independent with someone so violent and idiotic, shepard sometimes wonder why herself puts up with jack.

"That scumbag broke up with Miranda, saying quote: _I don't have time for her pathetic ass, if she gets better then call me. And then maybe ill consider getting back with her sorry ass." Kelly cried out._

shepard had an angry expression on her face and a wry feeling in her stomach, "where's jack?" she basically growled out.

"Here I am." a voice said from behind the three.

shepard whipped around and met the chocolate eyes of the insane girl. "What the hell is wrong with you?" she shouted.

jack smirked, "what? You think _I_ was gonna be cheerleaders nurse? Help her back to health and everything's gonna be okay? Get real! okay? she's basically a fucking course laying in that hospital, right now she's probably begging someone to pull the cord. And honestly like really honestly, besides little Ms. dramatic bitch Lawson, gives a flying fuck?"

shepard grabbed jack by the collar and banged her head against the locker, "What the fuck is wrong with you?! You deserve to die! I hope you rot in hell you stupid cunt!" she screamed.

jack struggled against Shepard's grip, she pulled back her fist and pounded shepard in mouth, shepard bit her tongue so hard blood dripped from her mouth flowing like a river. Shepard threw jack to the ground and kicked her in the ribs stomach and face repeatedly.

Even with her basically chopped in half tongue she sputtered out, "Now you can fucking die in the hospital! When im done with you're gonna be begging someone to pull the plug! Die!"

Kelly and oriana pulled shepard away from jack, shepard! That's enough! You're going to kill her!"

shepard spat her blood all over jacks unconscious- or dead, face. That's the point! Now let me go!" shepard roared.

**_This day had positively been the worst in shepards life, she lost a bestfriend and part of her sanity along with. She knew killing jack wouldn't solve anything except for her anger, right now she had to focus on how she would explain this without getting in so much trouble and most importantly visit Miranda._**

* * *

**A/N: So how'd you like it? Next chapter shepard'll visit Miranda and get to know her on a more emotional level, im realizing most of the heartbreaking will happen soon and later throughout the chapter It might still be really sad but funny and romantic. Im gonna take you on an emotional roller-coaster with this one folks so make sure to strap in tightly.**


	2. Chapter 2: lesson 2- comfort

"what were you thinking?" chakwas shouted.

"look auntie, she was talking a lot of stuff about Miranda! Who has cancer! And she insulted her sister. I had to do something she basically asking me to do it! And besides someone needed to put her in her place and who else was going to it was actually everyone asking me to do it." shepard retorted.

Chakawas through her hands up, "So if someone told you to jump off a bridge you would do it!?"

shepard shrugged, "how highs the bridge?"

"you think this is funny? Upstairs now! Just wait until I tell your mother!"

shepard trotted up the stairs not uttering another word, knowing if she had have there would be hell to pay. She slammed her door shut and plopped down on her bed.

_Was it all in vain? I mean would it really matter if I beat jack up? No matter how hard I punch her it cant fix Miranda nor take back what she said, even a part of me thinks...No! Mirandas a lot of things but she's not weak that's for sure!_

shepard shivered as a huge gust of wind came from her open window.

_should I?..._

* * *

_room three o two... _

shepard stared at the three numbers imprinted on the door, she raised a hand to knock, but hesitated. _Do I really have to knock? S_hepard tapped one knuckle on the door waiting for a response, after a while of waiting without getting an answer shepard rudely let herself in. She clenched the flowers she had oh-so desperately hoped Miranda liked.

There she was. In her bed with tubes in her arms and nose, lying lifeless as the Barbie doll she had always been. She still had all her hair from the chemo she had last Friday, if even possible she was paler than she usually was almost vampiric. The beeping of her heart monitor throbbed at a steady slow pace, shepard could feel her heart drop at the flat line that could happen at any minute.

_you only have twenty minutes.. _The doctors voice echoed through her head.

"shepard?" Miranda's weak voice croaked.

_god, why her? _shepard put on her best smile but it soon fell not being able to stay, "Hey." she whispered, she couldn't imagine Mirandas head not hurting.

she took a seat placed by Mirandas bed, "I got you some flowers.." she said looking into Mirandas pale blue eyes.

She wanted to cry. she wanted to hug Miranda. she wanted to trade places with her. Anything at all that would somehow make Miranda feel better even if it meant having cancer. Her face wasn't the same it looked tired and pale, her eyes weren't the same either, they were sickly and drained instead of brilliant and sharp.

Miranda didn't say anything, she just looked at the white roses in Shepards hand.

shepard looked around, looking at anything but Miranda, she noticed that there was no gifts or anything it was the complete opposite from the schools hallways.

_Did everything jack say get to everyone? Or did everyone just want attention? _"so, who came to visit?"

Mirandas eyes flickered to shepards, "oriana."

_only oriana? And me? What about Kelly? _

"Kelly didn't come? She didn't even call?" Shepard asked slightly frowning.

Miranda shook her head slowly, "No...Oriana hasn't even said anything about her."

shepard could see the glim of tears forming in Miranda's eyes, she took miranda's hand in hers and held it tight.

The two sat in silence, Shepard stared and scanned Miranda's face, "Miranda..." She whispered. "You are so strong. You have always been so damn strong, oriana loves you so very much and I care about you so please don't ever feel like you aren't loved because you are." Shepard didn't let the tears from her eyes fall, she wanted to be strong for Miranda. Her and Oriana.

And for the first time ever Miranda let tears run free without the feeling of being judged, everyday of her life she wanted to cry, everyday, but she couldn't. She had to be strong for oriana, between her fathers abusive ways and jacks constant beating in more ways than one, killing herself or getting herself killed seemed like the best way out.

Shepard closed her eyes to fight the tears before wiping Miranda's away, "It's okay Miranda you're safe. Jack cannot hurt you anymore. No one can."

Miranda nodded she knew it wasn't true, no matter the circumstance she always will get hurt, there is no thing called safe with her it was always trouble and pain and suffering.

_I'll protect you until my heart stops beating. This I swear. _"This only makes you stronger miranda because I promise it won't kill you." Shepard smiled wryly.

**_Only time will tell._**

* * *

**one week later..**

"Oh yeah right who didn't see that coming?"

Miranda giggled and smiled lightly, "shhh!"

**Noah: do you think love can take us away together?**

**Allie: I think our love can do anything we want it to...I love you.**

**Noah: I love you too allie, goodnight.**

**Allie: goodnight.**

**Noah: ill be seeing you soon.**

**_The movie came to an end and the lights turned on in the theater as everyone gathered there things._**

Shepard wiped her cheek in shock. _Shit! Are thes-_

_"_You're crying!" Miranda smiled. "I knew you had feelings!"

Shepard smiled as she saw Mirandas wet eyes, "I should be saying that to you _ice queen_. I didn't think someone like you would cry about something so cliché as the _ Notebook_."

Miranda winced at her old nickname, "Ugh I'm so glad th-"

Shepard sweeped Miranda off her feet holding her bridal style.

"What are you doing?!" Miranda shouted with a big smile grazing her face.

"Someone as beautiful as you mylady shouldn't have to Tire their feet because of something so petty and ridiculous as walking." Shepard grinned at Miranda as their eyes met.

All Miranda could do was smile laugh and blush as Shepard carried her out the doors.

**_No one had ever treated miranda with such care, it felt unnatural, weird...scary. Like it would never last and if she fell even deeper into it when it was over it'll leave her worst than she already was._**

Miranda looked up into shepards beautiful eyes that shimmered with joy and not sorrow,**_ but Miranda would be damned if it wasn't hard to hold on._**

* * *

**Later that night...**

"Beautiful isn't it?" Shepard peered over to look over at Miranda, she looked beautiful as the campfires light flickered on her face. "You know I would say something cliche like: your eyes twinkle like the stars. But stars don't twinkle."

Miranda smiled, "learn something new everyday."

"But your smile is as bright as the stars."

A moment passed. Miranda fell into a bit of giggles, "You couldn't resist could you?"

"Nope." Shepard stood up and grabbed mirandas hand. "Let's dance."

Miranda snaked her arms around shepard's neck, "There's no music."

shepard shrugged, "maybe like in the movies a random old guy will walk up with guitar and start playing." Shepard laid her hands on Miranda's hips, "if not... We can pretend."

miranda could only smile as Shepard stared at her incredulously, "what?" Miranda asked.

"Nothing just enjoying the view." Shepard whispered.

miranda shook her head, "when will you stop?"

"Never."

Miranda rolled her eyes playfully as she laid her head on shepard's shoulder.

"What did jack do to you? What has everyone done to you?"

"it's a long story. Dating back to when I was born."

Shepard held on tightly to Miranda, "I've got time."

* * *

**A/N: Hi guys! So Next chapter will get a little sad and dark with all the bad things in Miranda's past, Kelly, if you forgot shepard's girlfriend starts a little drama and things get heated but review and follow for more and I'll bring it to you fast**


	3. Chapter 3- 2 steps forward, 3 steps back

**A/N: READ!: 'ello guys and welcome back to H.T.N.G.U.O.S.L. Finally! It's been a long time coming but were back! If you like zombies check out my other story mass apocalypse! That I worked so very hard on with IfamousImagination! They're great check them out too! But with out further a due let's read!**

* * *

"You're spending to much time with her!"

Shepard paced back and forth in her room, "Yeah?! Am I Kelly?! The girl has cancer for Christ sakes! And you don't even give a damn?!"

Kelly stood up from shepard's bed, "I do care! But…"

"But what? She's your bestfriend, you're suppose to be there no matter what! You know the shit she goes through and how much suffering she's endured! And you have the audacity to give me shit for giving a damn?!" Shepard yelled furiously.

This argument was going nowhere. It had been this way since Kelly had arrived two hours ago, this were spiraling out of control and it would be any moment now that someone snapped.

"Maybe she was right…" Kelly whispered.

They looked at each other, Shepard in astonishment and Kelly in fear. Shepard walked over to Kelly quietly.

"What? Who's she?…Kelly."

Kelly bit her lip, "Sky…jack-"

"No. Don't sky me. You have no right. No god damn right." Shepard wrenched.

Kelly tried to touch shepard's arm but like ninja Shepard pulled away, she didn't wanna be touched by anyone…except…

"God damn it sky! Jacks in intensive care! You might have beat her to death!…if she dies, death penalty for you…or lifetime in priso-"

"I don't care!" Shepard clenched her fists, "I don't care!…just get the hell out of here. No more talking. Just get out."

Kelly opened her mouth to say something but Shepard turned away. She swallowed the lump in her throat before leaving Shepard to wallow in her own nightmarish thoughts. (**A/n: Shepard would like to thank the academy. :p)**

* * *

Shepard had decided to visit Miranda, it had almost been a week since she had talked to her, of course Oriana always kept her up to speed with Miranda and how she was doing.

Oriana had told her that since she had been spending time with Shepard her moods had been better, also helping her health, it never hurt to give a smile every once in a while it helps the heart and the mind.

Shepard smiled at that, she loved making people feel happy. Especially the people she cared about.

"What's up Lawson!" Shepard smiled at the girl.

Miranda's eyes lit up as soon as she saw Shepard, "Skylar?! I thought you would have given up on me since it's been a year since you've seen me."

Shepard pulled up her chair with a laugh, "A year? Miss me much?"

Miranda grabbed shepard's hand that sat lazily on the bed unconsciously to both of them. "As if… I've just been watching the static on my mini tv for the past six days… it's now my all time favorite show."

Shepard played with Miranda's fingers without even thinking, she gave a little chuckle.

"What's it about?"

Miranda flashed her million dollar smile, "oh you know…stuff."

Shepard shook her head with a cheesy grin, "You look beautiful…as always."

Miranda intertwined there fingers, "You're such a lier, I don't have any make up and god knows when I've actually brushed my hair and took it down from this bloody bun."

Shepard rubbed her thumb against the back of Miranda's hand. "I know. I like you like that, it's the real you. The best you."

Miranda shook her head with a blush grazed across her cheeks, "Thank you. But anyways, what's on the agenda for today?"

"Well! I'm glad you asked Miri! Because for today! Were gonna do everything and anything you wanna do! Then I have a special surprise for you when I pick you up again at eleven."

Miranda beamed, "So we're spending the whole day together?"

Shepard rubbed the back of her neck, "Yeah sorta, I've got a couple of things to do before the big surprise. Don't worry though, it'll all be fine."

Miranda nodded and stuck out her pinky. "Pinky promise?"

Shepard laughed, "Pinky promise!"

Interlocked pinkies gripping tight to make sure they both had an understanding of each other.

"Hm." Shepard smirked.

Miranda cocked a brow with a small smile, "What?"

"I don't think that was a strong enough pinky promise…I think a kiss might seal the deal." Shepard waggled her thick eyebrows suggestively.

"What?! No!" Miranda laughed. "You have a girlfriend!"

Shepard smiled, "No I don't…not exactly. And besides we're friends…bestfriends! It can be our thing!"

Miranda smiled, "You're so pretty." Miranda laughed as she ruffled shepards hair.

Shepard grabbed Miranda's Miranda's hand and laid her lips on her palm. "If we had kids I hope they have your eyes…and your smile."

Miranda laughed, "Okay, let's pretend we did have children…why would you want them to have my eyes? Your eyes are so beautiful. And so is your smile."

Shepard gave a grin, "Okay, Let's have three children, one that looks like you. One that looks like me. And one that looks like both of us, it has one eye like mine and one blue one it has blonde and black Hair too. He'd be awesome."

"Okay, let's pretend I took you up on that offer for that kiss…" Miranda blushed.

Shepard's eyes widen, was Miranda serious? Shepard had just been joking. "I-"

"Sorry I'm late randa I ju- oh I didn't know Shepard was here," Oriana smiled, "…am I interrupting something?"

Shepard pulled away, "Uh no…we were just…talkin' that's all."

Miranda nodded, "Yeah…just joking around…isn't that right skylar?"

"Right. Joking." Shepard rubbed the back of her neck. "Oriana what are yo-"

"Sky, can I speak to you in the hallway for just sec?" Oriana demanded more than asked.

"Well I don't see why we can't talk in-"

Oriana pulled Shepard out the door and slammed it shut.

"Okay, first you Godamn e.m.a fighter then you're a two timer! Skylar what's gotten into you?" Oriana whispered.

"I…I don't know…it's her." Shepard mumbled.

Oriana cocked a brow,"What? Who?"

"Sh! Will you keep your voice down?!…it's Miri…I think I might like her." Shepard blushed uncharacteristically.

"What about Kelly? What about jack?"

She didn't give a fuck about jack, what the hell did she have to do with this? As far as shepard's concerned that bitch is dead. And Kelly well…

"Skylar!" Kelly came charging down the hallway in rage.

Uh oh. Shepard ran to meet Kelly halfway, "Kelly? What are you doing here?"

"Y-you pig! I k-kknow why you-you're spending so my-much time wit that bitch!" Kelly sputtered.

Shepard pinched her noes, "Godamn you smell like a fucking mini bar, have you been drinking? No stupid question, of course you have. You look like a one nighter that was a ten last night and then a two the next morning."

Kelly pounded on shepard's chest, "Why! W-hy we were gonna have wide eyed children!"

Shepard pushed Kelly off her, "We were! No you're a mess I didn't do this to you, you did it to yourself."

Kelly almost cried but her face hardened, "Fine!" Kelly ran to Miranda's door and kicked the door opened Shepard bolting after her along with Oriana. But it was too late.

"Yeah that's right, Shepard nearly killed jack! No Shepard killed jack! She's dying-"

Oriana pulled Kelly by the hair and pulled her out the door slamming it shut.

Shepard stared at Miranda, the tension was so thick in the room that if something fell of a shelf it would be stuck In mid air.

"Miri I-"

"Out…Shepard I can't look at you right now." Miranda said coldly.

"But Miranda I can-"

"Explain? Even if you did there would be no reason for doing that Shepard!" Miranda's wet eyes shot daggers at Shepard. "Go! Before I call security."

Shepard didn't say anything else she grabbed her coat and left the room, she greeted by Oriana who was standing right behind the door.

"Kelly had to be escorted out…listen Sky-"

Shepard held up a hand, "No. It's okay, just take care of her she needs you now more than ever, can you do that for me?"

Oriana nodded, she gave Shepard a hug before going into Miranda's room.

Shepard pulled out the ring she had gotten Miranda, she read the engraving: _BFF'S till the end m&s…_

She had gotten one for herself too, but now it was pointless.

_**Who knew now would be the end?**_


	4. Chapter 4- apologize

**A/n: MIGHT WANNA READ BTW: hey guys! Back with more! Yay! enjoy because I realllllly really want to write more! But if this story's getting ya down head over to watching the hours tick by at citadel high! I love that and this story so freaking much because I think watching the hours tick by is freaking hilarious to write for and I love to be serious sometimes for this story depending on my mood but anyways I give you H.T.N.G.U.O.S.L!**

* * *

There was a knock at the door before it slowly creaked open.

"Hunnie, a…policeman is here to speak with you."

Chakawas frowned sadly as she saw Shepard sitting on her bed in tears. Shepard looked up, her eyes red and watery with black circles around her them.

"What now? Am I going to go to jail? Good, then maybe someone can beat some sense in me." Shepard mumbled.

Chakawas bit her lip, "How about we talk a little later sweetie? I know you need time and I'll give it to you but it's not healthy for you to keep it all bottled up."

Shepard stood up with a wobble, lord only know when's the last time she left bed. "Alright. Let's go."

The two walked down the stairs, the police officer sat on the couch with a grim look on his face. Shepard sat cross legged on the couch in front of the police officer with no emotion on her face.

"Would you like some coffee? Tea? Water?…ice brandy?" Chakawas said the last part to lighten the mood.

"Sure." The man said not taking his eyes off Shepard.

Chakawas nodded and left the room.

"Do you know who I am?" He pointed to his name tag. _**Dept. nought.**_ Jacks father.

_**It didn't phase Shepard, she could care less who the hell this guy was, but she was going to be nice about it.**_

"And how are you today? That's fantastic." She mumbled. "What do you want?"

"You put my girl in the hospital you sonuvabitch." He growled. "And if you get locked up, I'll be the one to throw away the key."

Shepard frowned, "I did what I had to, I loved jack like a sister. But she took it to far."

Chakawas came back with a cup of tea for Shepard and some coffee for the deputy.

"I'll let you two talk alone." She said before she left again.

The deputy's eyes followed shepard's hand as she took the cup and sipped it slowly, she smacked her lips together before she talked again.

"Now, before you come in here and disrespect me and my aunt. I would like to share with you how horrible your daughter really is."

_**Two months ago…**_

_"What did you do bitch!?" _

_Jack slapped Miranda across the room, dried blood crusting around her knuckles from the earlier beating she had given her "girlfriend."_

_"Please stop. I'm sorry I'll do better next tim-"_

_"To late for that! On the bed now!" Jack snarled._

_Miranda wanted to beg, but she knew she's only get into more trouble so she complied and laid on the bed._

_Jack ripped her clothes off and shoved a sock in her mouth, "No one can hear you scream now."_

_Miranda felt sick, was this the end was jack going to kill her? Of course not. Right? _

_Jack stood back and looked at Miranda with disgust, "Too perfect."_

_Jack looked at her nails, they were long and sharp, "Hm…should I cut these? Nah, you can handle it."_

**_Present…_**

"Stop!" The man yelled.

Your daughter raped my gir-! She…raped Miranda Lawson. Captain of the cheer team at Baltimore high. Honor student. _Would have_ been valedictorian. Class president. A beautiful individual. And a tortured soul with a heart of gold." Shepard stood up, "So take me the fuck away! Do. It. Take me away for being in love! I'm a stupid. Unstable. And a Fool for doing what I did, but your daughter! Your daughter is just a disgrace." Shepard sat down, "I'm done talking. Do what you have to, I'll go easily."

The police officer lips twitched with something unreable. "Your court day is the twenty first of next month, if you're not there than I'll be force to come down here single handedly and arrest you myself."

And without another word he left.

Chakwas came and sat beside Shepard, "Are you going to be okay?" She whispered running a hand through shepard's hair.

Shepard huffed, "I'm…I'll be okay it's just a lot going through my head with Kelly and jack and jail and…Miranda."

"I heard what you said, about Miranda. And jack and all the horrible things she was doing to that poor girl." Chakawas whispered.

"She's not a poor girl auntie. I don't know…why she would sit there and take that from jack, she could easily break up with her at anytime." Shepard rubbed her temples, "I-I know we didn't really like each other in school but I respected her, she could have talked to me about it."

"Maybe she couldn't. Maybe…she just didn't want to, maybe not talking about would just take it all away in her head when it wasn't happening."

"I have to talk to her auntie." Shepard stood up.

"Tomorrow…" chakawas smiled, "Get some actual rest you'll be fine."

* * *

"How's she feeling?"

Oriana smiled, "She's doing great…she's been a little sad and a lot less talkative."

Shepard nodded, "Did she…you know? Well talk abo-"

"Every time she said something Shepard." Oriana smiled with a little laughed. "She asked if I've talked to you recently, have I seen you around. The whole nine sky, she really cared about you."

Shepard clenched the roses in her hand, "I do too…I mean I care about her a lot." Shepard blushed, "I better get in there."

"Good luck."

Shepard slowly went inside the door. "Miranda I-"

Jack met her at the door, "Helllllllooo sheppy."

The world spun around and around before going completely dark. Shepard's eyes snapped opened as she shot up with tears running down her cheeks. She panted raggedy like a dog in heat, the only thing should could hear was the faint sound of the tv in the background and the fast pace of her heart.

She slammed back on her bed, "I have to apologize."

* * *

_**Intensive care. The last place on earth anyone wants to be no matter the case.**_

"You're going to be okay baby doll, ain't nobody gonna hurt you no more."

Shepard listened to jacks father talk jack. Those words were like the ones she told Miranda, but these words sounded untrue or even unsure like the whole sentence should have ended in a question mark.

He stormed out of the room randomly after a while luckily missing Shepard on his way out.

Shepard soon after walked into the room and just like Miranda's it was bare with gifts.

"Hey jack." She whispered.

Jack looked paralyzed, "What are you doing here!? Who in the h…hell let you in?!"

Shepard pressed her lips together, "I told them I was Kelly…look I didn't come to uh…fight but in a better sense beat you up."

"Well why the hell did you come," she spat.

"To apologize, what I did was unjustifiable. I shouldn't have did what I did-"

"Look Shepard. I was a dick. I am a dick and this…it kinda humbles me. I'm not gonna say that I'm gonna stay humble forever, but if you want the truth…I was jealous. You and Miranda had something we didn't and at the beginning I didn't see it but now I really do. You guys love each other and it killed me. So I wanted to hurt her so she'll feel my pain."

"That's stupid. But…no it's just really stupid jack. You knew Miranda was already in pain from her father if you even gave it a little thought…if you showed her love she would've done the same."

Jack stayed silent.

"Now, I came to say sorry because I know what I did was terrible and I shouldn't have done this to you. But now…I realized that I'm in the wrong place. I should be with the woman I love. Miranda Yvonne Lawson." Shepard began to leave but stopped in her tracks right at the door. "Take care jack."


	5. Chapter 5: lesson 3- love

**A/N: Hi guys! Ha! Didn't expect another chapter so soon did you?! I got you so hard look at your face ha! It makes me laugh, jk lol. But anyways check out my new high school au it's pretty freaking funny to me it is at least and hey, it's something to keep you occupied while you think what will happen in the next juicy chapter muhahaha! I'm so evil! You'll know what I'm talking about at the end of the chapter. But anyhow enjoy!**

* * *

"Kelly, we can't be together anymore."

**_Like most of their arguments this had been going on for a solid hour, Kelly couldn't let go, she was in love with Shepard, maybe obsessed._**

"Let's just make love like we use to, you'll feel it, the sparks, I swear!" Kelly's lip trembled with fear and distraught at the thought of losing Shepard.

**_When Shepard was in a relationship she poured her heart and soul into everything, she gave and gave and gave and it never stopped, that's why it was so hard to lose her._**

Shepard cringed, _make love? With Kelly it doesn't seem right, but with Miranda…imagine hearing Miranda say 'Let's make love.' _Just sent tingles up shepard's spine. _**But it was merely only a dream that would never come true it seems.**_

"Kelly, I can't make love to you if…if I don't love you. I came here to break up with you, yes, but I want to do it the right way." Shepard tugged at their interlocked hands, "So please let go."

Kelly eyes watered and became red, "I…you're right. You're a beautiful person…just with some kinks."

"Thank you." Shepard laid sweet, short, kiss on Kelly's cheek. "I better go."

* * *

_My eyes tell their own story when i look at you, I wonder can you read it because that's where you'll find the truth._

_I love looking into your eyes and making a story about us, it always ends up with us kissing and touching even the parts where were fighting and fussing. I know we can last because you've captured my heart without me knowing, I'm lost, I don't know where I'm going. So please forgive me so I can give you this._

Miranda read the card over and over and over and over. She wiped the tears from her eyes, she looked at Oriana who had given her the card not too long ago.

"Where is she?" Miranda whispered.

"Outside the door." Oriana said quietly. "Hold on."

Oriana walked out the door and laughed at Shepard, she slammed the door shut so Miranda wouldn't see her.

"What?" Shepard frowned.

Shepard had two hundred white roses with two boxes, I huge blue teddy bear and she was wearing footsie pajamas.

"You really care about her don't you sky? Well, don't worry the feelings mutual. I'll leave you two alone for the night."

"Well yeah didn't you just hear that suck ass poem?" Shepard smiled.

Shepard took a deep breath and took a step into the room, before she looked at Miranda she closed the door.

Shepard still kinda looked a mess, her eyes were still a little black from lack of sleep but right now she was wide awake.

"Hi. I'm Beary sorry I acted like a jerk…and lied." Shepard whispered. "I hope you haven't eaten yet…because I have a surprise for you, if you're up for it."

Miranda stood up and walked over to Shepard. They looked at each other for a while, scanning each other hurt, broken, lost faces.

Miranda grabbed Shepard and held onto her tight running a hand through her hair. "I'm so sorry, I over reacted. I was a major twat."

Shepard smiled a genuine smile, "Miranda, I love you. And Its never felt so great to be in someone's arms."

Miranda stepped back a little, still keeping no distance between them. "Skylar, falling for you was the scariest thing in the world, knowing that I didn't have any control over something that might hurt me was so…"

Shepard lifted Miranda's chin, "I would never hurt you, I want to protect you, take care of you and show you love that you've never experienced before."

They looked into each other's eyes and then their lips, they wanted to so bad, to kiss, but they knew that this would seal their love for each other and it would be no going back.

Shepard leaned in closer, the warm mintyness of Miranda's breath drawing her in closer. When their lips finally collided, it was an overwhelming sensation that washed over them, the tingle in their palms and feet making the weak from the simple kiss.

Shepard broke the kiss, "I want to make love to you…" she was nervous about the words that spilled out of her mouth, the words made the butterflies in her stomach multiply by the dozen when Miranda said nothing and just stared.

"I…I'm not ready." Miranda said under her breath. "Don't get mad, it not that I don't want to it's just I can't."

Shepard nodded, "I'll wait, as long as you need. I don't want to rush things, I just wanted to show you the ultimate love that I posses for you…god I'm sorry I sound like the notebook, it's just that I'm so anxious about this. I don't want to fuck up."

Miranda smiled, "I know I feel the same way. I want us to make love, I do." Miranda rubbed the back of shepard's neck with nothing but care, hoping to soothe her.

Shepard melted at the touch, "We should get going. Before we miss it, I want to make this special."

* * *

"So you're probably thinking: sky why'd you bring me up here to this high mountain where you can see the entire city?"

Shepard and Miranda sat in the back of the truck that was full of pillows and blankets and covers.

"Correct." Miranda smiled.

Shepard grinned widely, "Well I'm glad you asked sweetheart, because I guess you're also wondering why I have two bags of mcdonalds? Yes?"

Miranda took a carton of fries out the greasy bag and began to eat them happily, "Yes, I am definitely wondering why you're doing this."

"Well, I'm surprise you haven't guessed it but today's what day? Fourth of July! And I came up here with you, to watch fireworks, From here you can see the most beautiful fireworks in the whole city. I wanted to express to you how I feel when I see you…and for right now this is the only way I can describe it."

Miranda gave Shepard a peck on the lips, "I have feeling this relationship is going to be amazing."

Shepard took Miranda's small slender hand in hers, "You're so perfect and I really do mean it Miranda." Shepard laid down and pulled Miranda into her lap, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Miranda cocked a brow,"Grow up? Sky, were eighteen. We're grown up." Miranda put on a cute thinking face making her nose scrunch up, "Buuuuut, I think I want to be a lawyer or some sort of politician."

"What? Noooooo! Too much stress and then our kids will miss mommy and so will I." Shepard pouted.

"Well…I probably won't make it t-"

Shepard silenced Miranda with a kiss, she pulled away and caressed Miranda's face. "I don't want to hear that. I'm going to give you the best life anyone has ever had. You just watch Miri, you've already made it baby."

Miranda let Shepard wipe away a tear that rolled down her cheek, "Our love can concur anything." Shepard whispered, Miranda nodded and laid her head on shepard's chest.

"You want to talk about it? We've never really discussed it and my aunt told me that keeping things bottled up doesn't solve anything."

Miranda didn't say anything.

"Or I can just talk and you can listen?"

Miranda secretly loved shepard's voice, it was smooth like honey and rich like cream. Her English accent made ever word just roll off the tongue, it was music to her ears.

Miranda nodded slowly and burrowed deeper into shepard's lap and neck.

"Alright…I want you to meet my mom, she'd love you, she's in London where I grew up. I miss her I just hope she misses me too. You don't know your mom do you?"

Miranda shook her head.

Shepard smiled, "When we get married my mom can be your mom…that kinda sounds weird."

Miranda let a soft laugh, she never understood the whole when we're married, my moms your mom my dads your dad, it was weird.

Shepard smirked,"I wanted watch the fireworks with you but I guess you're gonna fall asleep soon in my lap, huh?"

Miranda nodded, "pretty much yes, Right here is nice."

Shepard interlocked their left hand and wrapped her right arm around Miranda. Miranda got the message and laid down completely on Shepard.

"I'm not squishing you am I?" Miranda smiled.

Shepard kissed her forehead,"No. Even if you were I wouldn't mind."

Shepard reached in her pocket, "Hey, uh…will you be my girlfriend?" She pulled out the golden rings.

**_BFF'S forever m&s. _**_**Who knew now would be the start of forever.**_

Miranda was taken back, "Of course, how long have you had these, you loser? And you didn't give it to me?"

Shepard laughed as she slid hers then Miranda's ring on, "Since forever, I was kinda nervous to give it to you just because it was a ring."

Miranda reached up and kissed Shepard. "I love you sky…ugh I wish I had a nickname for you other than sky like something cute."

Shepard chuckled, "Call me babe or baby or sweetheart or something."

Miranda furrowed her brows, "I know I can call you that but I want something special like what would you call me?"

Shepard hummed, "Barbie, because you're perfect."

Miranda laughed, "Ew, no! That's so bad."

"Well I have something to call you babe, I don't need a nickname for you if I already have like ten."

Miranda yawned, "I'll think about it tomorrow…babycakes."

* * *

"Damn what time is it?"

Shepard shielded her eyes from the sun, she picked up her phone that had been ringing all night but she was to infatuated in Miranda sleeping she had totally been in a daze.

_**Twenty miss calls from Oriana.**_

"Oh fuck." Shepard curse quietly, trying not to wake her new girlfriend.

Shepard silently lifted Miranda off her, She slowly got up from the truck and walked a good distance to call Oriana back.

The phone call was picked up immediately.

**_Sobs_** were all you heard from the other end.

_Oh this can't be good_.

"Sky…it's Miranda!…oh god why?!"

Shepard took a deep breath and prepared for the worst, "Ori call down…please you're scaring me."

She could hear Oriana breathing heavily over the phone, but then becoming quieter and quieter.

"Okay, now tell me what's wrong with Miranda."

* * *

**A/N: sorry if this chapter felt a little uncharacteristic, the next chap is gonna be hella awesome. Btw check my au high school fic braaaaa!**


	6. Chapter 6- moving on…kinda

**A/N: HI GUYS! Okay, so i don't know what this chapter has in store because A. i'm just now writing it as it goes along so i don't have any hints for you, but this chapter can go two ways: really good, which i doubt and really bad which i know that's the most likely way to go... so enjoy! Btw sorry this chapters a little draggy and not as interesting, but do not fret because the next one is juicy! Muhahaha!**

* * *

They sat there staring at each other, Shepard laying down on her bed while her beautiful girlfriend sat on top of her. Shepard's hands rested softly on her bare thighs while she let her thumbs rub the skin underneath softly.

"What is it? You don't look very happy." Shepard said under her breath.

Miranda took a moment before saying anything, her eyes darted down and back at shepard's gray ones.

Miranda hesitated, "I…feel like I need to go see jack." She bit her lip. "I feel as though there's something we have to settle between each other."

The blonde massaged her girlfriends arms with care, "I understand, but Miri when you see her in her…current condition, know that what I did to her was because I was troubled and I-"

"Skylar, I know you would never do something like that to me." Miranda smiled, "Is that what you're trying to say?"

Shepard nodded, "Ye-yeah, I didn't want you to think I would hurt you. Or that I'm a monster…"

**_Sometimes Shepard did have nightmares about her hurting everything and everyone around her, when she lived in England with her mom and her dad, that is when her dad was still around, she woke up in the middle of the night to the sounds of plates shattering and screaming in the kitchen. Out of pure concern, she walked down the long hallway making sure to be extra quiet, the noises got louder and louder as she walked further along, she peeked around the corner and saw her mother laying on the floor with blood seeping from underneath her, one more pint of blood and she would have been dead the doctors said._**

**_Her father began to search for her soon after, Shepard was smart, so she didn't hide in the closet or under her bed. She grabbed the phone and hid in a compartment in the back of the couch, she dialed nine one one while her father called out her name, whispering obscure things under his breath as he stalked through the house. The police came quickly and arrested shepard's dad before he could escape, they rushed her mother to the hospital. Shepard now suffers from PTSD and just like her nothing was the same._**

Shepard didn't like to go into detail with the whole experience, she actually never talked about it, shes just wants to forget all about that time in her life.

"You're not a monster." Miranda leaned down to kiss Shepard but Shepard turned away, Miranda pulled back with an almost hurt look on her face. "Why did you turn away?"

Shepard shook her head, "I'm sorry, I-I-"

"Don't you do this. Don't you start thinking you're not good enough me." Miranda said sternly, Shepard couldn't look at the raven haired girl but Miranda forced her. "Look at me," she demanded, "You are the best thing that's ever happen to me and if you think I'm letting someone like you go you're highly mistaking."

How did she know what I was thinking?

Miranda laughed softly, "I can see it in your eyes. The way your eyebrows raise, the way your lip twitch. I can read your mind without even trying, love."

Shepard brushed her thoughts away and smirked, "Oh yeah? Then what am I thinking now?"

Miranda unbuttoned her shirt agonizingly slow, watching Shepard with a small smile on her face and half lidded eyes.

Shepard put her hands behind her head as she watched the creamy, smooth, skin underneath unveil in front of her. "Bingo."

**(A/n: No they didn't have sex…I think that we'll be there for that…review if you think we should, lol.)**

* * *

"She's right through here…Miranda just be careful okay?"

Miranda nodded and Shepard nodded back they entered the room, as separated as could be. They couldn't imagine that it would make things anymore comfortable if Miranda and Shepard acted like a married couple, deeply in love.

Jacks eyes narrowed at the two, "What in the hell is this?" She hissed.

"Jack." Shepard said sternly. It was more of a warning meaning: be disrespectful and when you're out of here you'll be right back in.

Jack snorted, "What is this an intervention?" Jack eyed the two up and down, "Oh I get it you're fucking the ice bitch-"

"Jack! You better lay there and shut the hell up! After all the crap that's happened you still talk shit!" Shepard exploded.

The room was completely silent, Miranda cleared her throat and stepped forward.

"Jack." She started, jack turned up her nose and scoffed. Miranda took a deep breath and sighed, not because she was nervous but because after all this jack was still an ass.

"I have no anger towards you, but I do not like you nor do I care about you. All the things you did to me were inexplicable. You are by far the worst thing that has ever happen to me." Miranda continued, "But without your years of torture, I wouldn't be who I am today. You hurt me, but you didn't break me, you made me stronger, no one or anything can break me." Miranda's thoughts flickered to her father and jack and all the emotional and mental scars they left. "When I was with you everyday I wouldn't be able to look in the mirror without crying, seeing how degrading and meaningless my life is, sometimes I wish you had of killed me-"

Jack interrupted, "Why didn't you just tell me to?" She joked.

Shepard clenched her fist, "I'm not gonna yell." Shepard took a deep breath, "Okay, I know this is just jealousy talking jack like you told me, so I'm not going to flip out and hurt you."

"No. Skylar, just look at her, she needs help and let's just prays that she finds it." Miranda grabbed shepard's hand, "Like I did. Now…I think it's time to go love."

* * *

"We shouldn't tell her, it would only make her time left unbearable."

Shepard ran a hand through her hair, "It feels wrong ori…" Shepard shook her head. "No. She's going to make it through this-"

Oriana felt her eyes beginning to sting. "But the doctor said-"

"Ori, I know what the doctor said!" Shepard said a little louder than necessary.

_**The attention was back on them as they were when the beautiful teens walked in, a couple of whispers and mummers from everyone around, maybe they recognized Shepard and Miranda from the paper? No, no one reads the paper…tv?**_

"Let's just…forget about it, Kay? All we're doing is making ourselves miserable and we both know Miranda doesn't want that." Shepard whispered.

Oriana nodded and put on her best smile when Miranda came back from the bathroom.

"You were in there for a while, what did you fall in?" Oriana chuckled cheerily.

Miranda looked a little bit less lively than when they had came in, but she still laughed and smiled.

"Some weird man was talking my head off about something about modeling or something along those lines." Miranda smiled.

Shepard furrowed her brows, "Miri your…your noes is bleeding."

Miranda eyes widen, she quickly grabbed a napkin and wiped the blood away. She didn't catch it when Shepard and Oriana exchanged worried glances Luckily. She stared at the napkin in shock, looking as if her life just ended.

"But…" Miranda whispered.

Shepard took out her wallet and laid a hundred creds on the table, "We better get you to bed, come on, we can go to my house."

Miranda nodded, the last thing she wanted to do was be in that hospital or at her own house where her father was.

The three got up to leave, even though they would get strange looks, Shepard let Miranda piggy back ride her. She laid her head on shepard's back and closed her eyes to the sleep that was so inviting.

"Wait." A man ran up to Shepard.

Shepard stopped even though she really really didn't want to.

"I am Paul maverick and I just love this amazing woman on your back, I would love for her to be my new model-"

"No thanks." Shepard deadpanned.

Paul panicked, "Look, just give me a call."

Shepard opened her mouth to protest, but a card was shoved into her mouth.

"No more talking. Just thinking."

* * *

_**A/n: so let me brake this chapter down, even though it doesn't seem like it, this is the most important chapter in the story. Now I know you're thinking: WHAT?! But it seems completely pointless and not a very impacting chapter at all! Yes I know, but you will be in complete shock to see how all of it pulls together! So excited!**_


	7. Chapter 7- two unexpected visitors?

**A/N: SMUT UP HEAD SKIP IF YOU'D LIKE! Futa smut that is ;) btw hi guys! And enjoy!**

* * *

_**It was quiet. But when they were alone like this it was always quiet. Shepard just liked to look at her, but maybe tonight she would get to do more.**_

Miranda lips were glistening with saliva and were painfully red from all of shepard's rough kisses, she laid there in only her black panties and lace bra, panting heavily with anticipation letting out ragged breathes just like Shepard above her.

Her eyes were wide like saucers when Shepard took off her shirt. The blonde became more distant and nervous when Miranda just stared at her.

"Is…is there something wrong?" Shepard said hesitantly.

Shepard could feel Miranda's eyes scanning the big scar on the side of her stomach and the other two smaller scars marking over her tanned abs. Shepard had a couple of scars on her arms and one through her eyebrow but that was nothing compared to that scar on her side.

Shepard watched Miranda reach out one slender finger and trace the long, angry scar.

"Don't be Afraid, I like it, it's something you can tell me about later. Much later." Miranda whispered.

Shepard leaned down and kissed Miranda tenderly. Shepard didn't notice until she heard the snap of her shorts that Miranda had taken them off. Shepard broke the kiss making the raven haired girl whimper beneath her. She wiggled out the shorts and chucked her them across the room, leaving her only in her boxer briefs.

Miranda eyed the bulge that was aching to break free from the underwear. Shepard blushed when she watched Miranda lick her lips unconsciously, probably still tasting shepard's strawberry lip balm on her lips.

Miranda's was scared to touch it, she knew it wouldn't bite and she wouldn't hurt it unless she tried, she just wished reading shepard's mind would help right now because at this moment she didn't know what to do.

Shepard bit her lip, she felt as though she could be completely honest with Miranda and right now was the best time.

"I'm…embarrassed." She smiled nervously.

Miranda grinned and let out a laugh, "I don't know what to do."

_Well at least we can be honest with each other,_ they both thought.

Miranda's smiled faded, she tried to swallow the golf ball in her throat as she reached and laid her hand softly on shepard's cock. She could feel the warmth and hardness began to grow in her palm with excitement.

Shepard fought the urge to lean into the touch even though it was so light like a ghost, it felt amazing.

Miranda watched shepard's flushed face, she could feel herself growing wetter and wetter just by seeing Shepard in such a state. Miranda became a little more daring when she began to rub herself and Shepard.

"I've thought about this so many times." Shepard groaned out.

Shepard pushed a side Miranda's hand and started rubbing her girlfriend softly through her wet panties.

Miranda gyrated her hips against shepard's thumb, her touch was addictive, she was only person that could get her heart thrumming in her chest like this, the only one that can make her feel this way, it was like they were made for each other.

Miranda yanked at the hem of shepard's underwear pulling it down her legs. Shepard shivered as the cold air hit her but it didn't last long when she felt Miranda's hand around her throbbing cock.

"Miranda." Shepard moaned out.

It was official. Shepard deemed this the day she will knew she was going to marry Miranda Lawson.

The blonde spread Miranda's legs, she positioned her self between her wet core, she leaned down and lick her over her underwear.

Miranda squirmed and fidgeted as Shepard worked magically between her legs.

"Take them off." Miranda said shakily. She knew she was in for a treat.

Shepard complied by just ripping them off.

"Skyla-!ahh…"

Shepard licked the outside of Miranda slick folds, dipping her tongue in to taste.

Miranda gripped the sheets as Shepard licked mercilessly at Miranda's core, Miranda tried to wrap her legs around shepard's head but her legs were shaking to the point where she couldn't move.

The scene faded before shepard's eyes, she could feel someone laying next to her with their arms around her waist and hair splayed across her chest.

_Damn it was just a dream_.

Her eyes popped open when the body began to move and shift. Shepard's eyes darted around the room that she was in, it was her own, she hadn't remember much about yesterday, just that Oriana, Miranda and her went out to eat some weird maverick dude and modeling, nosebleed, leaving, it was all just a blur? But why? Now she's laying naked in the bed with a naked Miranda. Did they…?

There was a tiny knock at the door but before Shepard could answer the door opened. chakawas peeked in with a big grin on her face.

"Sky-"

"Shh…" Shepard brushed Miranda's hair to help her stay asleep. "Whisper."

Chakawas nodded, "Your mother is downstairs," she whispered in an excited tone. "She's so excited to see you!"

Shepard heart stopped, she hasn't seen her mother in at least eight years, why would she just pop up now?

"T-tell her I'll be right down," Shepard stuttered.

Chakawas nodded again this time faster, she jumped out the door in excitement and letting an excited squeal before closing the door behind her.

Shepard plopped her head on the pilliow and let out a huge sigh. "Jesus Christ." She closed her eyes and tried to fall back asleep, she figured her mother would be here for a while, she didn't see any reason why getting a little sleep would be a little rude.

She was about to drift off when Soft lips touched hers, she opened her eyes to be met by brilliant blue half lidded ones, she closed her eyes and leaned into the kiss, but they dissapeared and started to crawl down her jaw and neck.

"Miri? What happened? Did we…uh?"

Miranda kissed her way back up to shepard's lips and let out a tired laugh. "You don't remember love? That's impossible. Think about it."

_**Images of last night came floating back to Shepard, oh they did it alright. Skin to skin, her lips on shepards and shepard's all over her, kissing her chastity down to the hem of her panties from the valley between her luscious creamy breast, Licking lower and lower until hearing a gasp escape Miranda's pink lips, then moving back up to capture mirandas bottom lip between shepards teeth. Miranda ripping shepard's shirt, kissing down the scar and dragging her nails down Shepard tanned abs, drawing a long hiss from the blonde that would be cut short by a fierce kiss, their tongues swirling around in each other's mouthes as the anticipation built up in the core of their stomachs.**_

_**Shepard's body twitched when Miranda hand traveled into her shorts. Just the simple touch of Miranda's soft hand drove Shepard wild, Shepard clamped down on Miranda's neck making a moan escape her lips. **_

Shepard's heart dropped, she jumped up and looked over in the trash can. "Holy shit…" she ran a hand through her hair, she turned to Miranda and laid a hand on her shoulder, "Babe?"

"Hmm?" Miranda hummed dreamily.

"Did. We. Use. A-"

"Condom! We forgot a condom!" Miranda yelled.

Shepard covered her mouth, "Sh! My mum's downstairs. And if she even hears forgot and condom in the same sentence, I'm dead."

Miranda laid her head on Shepards chest. "Skylar. I cannot have a baby. My life's crazy as it is!" Mirandas Sniffles filled the room, Shepard wrapped her arms around her waist and laid them down on the bed. "Sh…babe…you don't even know if…y-you know. I mean maybe I pulled out?"

Miranda shook her head, "You came in me…three times."

Shepard thought about last night but shook the thoughts from her head, she could feel herself getting excited, right now would be a terrible time. But with Miranda's naked body pressed against hers it was pretty hard. No pun intended.

Shepard kissed miranda tenderly, "Hm. I love you okay?"

Miranda broke the kiss and snuggled closer to the blonde, "Yes I know. I love you too."

"Right, so you know if anything ever happens, then we have each other's backs and you know I'm going to be here for you always no matter what." Shepard tangled their hands together and gave a light squeeze.

Miranda wrapped her legs around shepards waist, "You make me feel so much better." She whispered. Shepard's heart leaped in her chest, she loved seeing Miranda so vulnerable, it reminded her of how she was the only one Miranda could trust and just how much that meant to her.

"I know that you're probably not ready, but my mum's here and i would like for you to me her." Shepard whispered.

"Really? I would love to meet your mum."

* * *

Shepard fluttered open.

She looked over at her alarm clock, one twenty-two. Had she really slept for another six hours?

The blonde felt fingers trailing up and down her stomach, she assumed Miranda was awake, so

Shepard rolled Miranda over so she was on top, she looked like was asleep but she was still aware. she didn't open her eyes either, but she did wrap her slender arms around shepard's neck.

"Morning, did you sleep well?" Shepard smiled.

Miranda let out a long moan that made Shepard quiver. "Yes. It felt good to sleep in." She whispered.

Shepard kissed Miranda softly on the neck, moving between the valley of her breast.

"You're so beautiful." Shepard mumbled. She nipped down on one of the hard pink nipples, swirling around the bud in circles.

"Sky…not now love." Miranda bit her moan back when her girlfriend tweaked her nipple.

Shepard kissed Miranda lingeringly, "Why not?" Her hands danced lightly on Mirandas inner thighs. "We have time."

Miranda's eyes widen when she felt Shepard poked her slick entrance. "Skylar, your mother is here, remember?"

The girl sighed and flopped off of Miranda, "Yeah I remember, I just don't know why she's here. Like what does she need now?"

Miranda rolled her eyes, "Come on Skylar, get up and go down there. She probably just wants to talk and see how amazing you've grown up," Miranda traced a her finger on the contours of shepard's jaw and cheekbones.

Shepard swung her legs over the side of her bed, "I guess you're right. I would be lying if I said I wasn't the slightest excited about seeing her." Shepard slipped on a pair of joggers and a tee.

"Of course I'm right, when aren't I?"

* * *

Shepard walked down the stairs, she could feel eyes boring into her as if someone was trying to burn a hole in her.

"Skylar Shepard do you have any idea how late it is? In the military you would have been running laps till you passed out."

A woman in her late thirties with piercing gray eyes and red hair marched, almost like in a formation up to the blonde. She was sporting a Great Britain captains military ceremonial black uniform covered in medals and badges.

Shepard cocked a brow, "Mom? You joined the military?"

A cling from the tea cup rang out when chakawas sat it down and stood. "Skylar, darling. Your mother, hannah, has proposition for you that you will surely be the most of joyous about."

Shepard furrowed her brows, "What? Why are you talking like that?"

The woman shrugged, "To be quiet honest with you dear I don't know, if must know in this tea cup there isn't any tea." She winked.

_Yep, she was definitely a little tipsy._

Shepard felt a strong hand grip her shoulder firmly, hannah let out a sigh. "I Want you to come back to England with me." Her accent thicker than Shepard's had been along with chakawas.

Shepard shook her head, "I can't, I have a life here in America now. I-I can't just leave you must understand, mum."

Hannah bowed her head, "Sweetie, I get it you want to live here. You've made yourself comfortable and you've made friends but England is your home, it's where you belong."

Shepard sighed, "Mother. I don't think you understand-"

"Look, I wasn't going to tell you this but I put in a good word for you and when you join the military they'll start you off as a first sergeant! Isn't that great?" Hannah beamed.

"I just can't leave I have a lot going on here. A lot more than anyone's let on obviously…" Shepard said narrowing her eyes a chakawas.

"Hey. You could have told your mom about the thing that I'm not going to say because that's none of my business." Chakawas said drinking from her cup.

_Damn that woman._

Footsteps turned everyone's attention to the stairs, they got closer and louder as Miranda walked down them. Shepard knew Miranda would put on clothes but she sighed in relief when she saw everything was covered up.

Miranda put on her best smile as she got closer to shepard's mom. "Hello my names Miranda Lawson, it's nice to meet you mrs. Shepard."

Hannah stared at the girl and then Shepard, "Mind explaining this to me?" She turned to the slightly drunk nurse. "Karin, why is there a girl coming from shepard's bedroom?"

Chakawas sat down the cup, "Just an innocent sleepover although I don't condone such late sleeping."

Shepard stepped forward, "Mother. This is my girlfriend Miranda. She's the most amazing girl in the world and she is my home. And that's why I decline moving back to England. Thank you but no thank you mum."

Miranda's heart skipped a beat, "Moving? England? Why?"

Hannahs eyes widen, "Surely you won't let this one bloody girl hold you back from your full potential darling?"

Shepard pushed away her moms arm. "Mother I don't know how I can stress this enough to you, Miranda's not just some girl, she's my girl and she makes me way more happy than some bloody job could ever."

Hannah held shepards face, "But this is your dream."

Shepard rolled her eyes, "Mummy. That's your dream." Shepard pushed her mom away again and put her arm around Miranda. "This is my dream and I'm going to Pursue it. Either you can come along and be their with me or…"

The atmosphere in the room was thick, so thick it felt like breathing was futile.

The womans eyes darted from Shepard to Miranda and then to chakawas who kept her eyes looking in her cup. She let out a sigh. "Alright, it's clear to me that you really love this girl."

Shepard smiled, "More than ever."

"And you aren't getting into much mischief I presume?" Hannah asked.

Shepard rubbed the back of her neck, "Well I uh-"

Before Shepard could answer there was a knock at the door. Chakawas sped off to the door, something told Shepard and her that shit was about to happen, because this wasn't just any knock. It was like police.

Chakawas barely opened the door when dept. nought burst through almost knocking chakawas to the floor.

He stormed towards Shepard, "Just come to let you know if you're trailed guilty you will be given the death penalty." He smiled. "And I'll be the one doing it."

"What the hell?! You think you can just come in here and-"

"Oh boy you bet your ass I can! I'm taking you down Shepard." He stepped closer to Shepard their face inches apart. "You have no idea how much trouble you've gotten yourself into."

Hannah pushed the police officer away from Shepard. "Now what in the hell do you think you're doing? Who are you and what in the hell are you talking about?"

The deputy frowned, "Your daughter is going to die on the twenty first of next month, she's being trailed for the attempted murder of Jennifer nought, my daughter."

"Hey fuck you! Your daughter should be in jail not me! Besides, she touched me first therefore it was self defense." Shepard said as a matter of fact.

"Bullshit!" The officer squawked.

"You know what?" Hannah pushed the man out of the door with ease. "Get the hell out!" Hannah slammed the door, the room felt so thick, Shepard didn't even think the door would close.

Hannah wiped around to her daughter. "Pack your shit Shepard because after the trail your coming with

Me."

* * *

"We have to tell Miranda."

Shepard shook her head, "We can't Ori we agreed to not do that."

Shepard winced at Orianas sobs over the phone, "I know but it's wrong to keep something so important from her." Oriana cried.

Shepard wiped away a stray tear steaming down her face. "I know but right now's a bad time okay? We'll talk later."

Shepard hung up her phone with a sigh. She turned her attention back to Miranda and continued stroking her hair.

"What did ori want?" Miranda mumbled sleepily.

"Nothing…just wanted us to go out to some water park with her and some friends of hers." Shepard lied.

God I hate lying to her.

Miranda shrugged, "Oh. Well maybe we should spend some time together before you leave."

Shepard had vowed that she would never leave Miranda and she would keep that promise no mater what.

Shepard huffed, "I'm not leaving Miri. She thinks I've turned into my father because I beat up jack."

"What do you mean your father?" Miranda asked.

Shepard never told Miranda about her past and never intended on doing so, but with that big scar on shepard's side, the past was bound to come up sooner or later.

"Shh…let just get some rest, you need it."

* * *

**A/n: MUST READ! So guys let's get serious…baby names? Gender? Should we do this? Soon? Not really. Soon enough to get excited? Hell yeah.**


	8. Chapter 8- free falling

**a/n: haha double whammy! But yeah this chaps pretty sad so don't get to happy.**

* * *

Miranda slammed into the wall. Shepard's body on here's in matter of seconds. Her mouth devouring her lips in rough kisses, their hips rubbing together in sync, begging to break free from the clothes.

Miranda knocked off shepard's hat to run her hands through her girlfriends soft hair. The raven haired girls eyes widen, she broke the kiss and shoved Shepard onto the couch. She ran out of the living room and slammed the door shut once she reached the bathroom.

Shepard sighed, she ran a hand over her face in annoyance. "Hey babe?"

There was no response. Shepard shook her head and trailed after her girlfriend. She knocked slightly on the door. "Miri? What's wrong?"

Shepard listened for an answer but all she heard was coughing and gagging and the sound of the toilet being filled.

Shepard winced, "Again? Are you sure it's not just the chemo? You ah…got your period didn't you?"

There was nothing but silence.

Shepard pressed her ear to the door. "Babe? You okay?"

The door opened slowly. Shepard's heart sunk to the floor when she saw a drained Miranda reaching out for her, she took Miranda in her arms and stroked her back slowly.

"Sky, I haven't had chemo since the second week in the hospital. You know that." Miranda sniffled.

"Just trying to think about the what this could be…I-I just don't think right now is a good time for a little sky or Miri to be running around…" Shepard smirked weakly, "or a little zurrick for that matter."

Miranda furrowed her brows, "What? What are you talking about?"

Shepard chuckled awkwardly, "Sorry just trying to lighten the mood a little bit. Zurrick was an action figure I use to play with when I was a child."

"Shepard we can't have a baby. I'm not saying I don't want one, just once we get things sorted out. I can't even have a baby for Christ sakes, I'm in chemo. If I'm pregnant and I go and do chemo the baby will…will die." Miranda whispered sadly.

Nononon Miranda needs chemo or she'll…but if she's pregnant the baby will die inside her…

Shepard shook her head. "No…let's not think about it anymore. It's getting late."

* * *

"Doctor, do you mind not mentioning Miranda's…you know to her? Oriana and I want to keep it a secret."

The doctor shook his head. "I'm afraid I can't do that. One, it doesn't feel right on a personal level and two I'm suppose to tell the patient anything and everything I know."

_She deserves to know…_

Shepard nodded. "Alright just be gentle with it okay?"

The doctor smiled, "The test might say one thing but god says another."

The two walked into the room with Miranda who looked as healthy as ever.

"Hello doctor, is there something the matter?" Miranda asked .

Shepard took Miranda in her arms, "It's okay baby." Miranda, although confused, still wrapped her arms around Shepard.

"Miranda, I'm sorry to tell you this but…we've been looking at some test we've been running for quite some time now and it would seem…" the doctor paused. "You have almost two years to live." The man wiped away his tears. "I'm sorry."


End file.
